silent sea of storms

i don't want to tell you because i don't want you to feel sad on my behalf.

being hurt physically is one thing.

you can have surgery.

you can get a cast.

you can be in a wheelchair or have crutches.

or you can limp.

and people see that and they know.

and they can sign your cast.

or send you cards.

or ask you how you're healing.

it's obvious that something is broken.

or hurting.

but it's different with feelings.

with your mind.

your insides.

not everyone can see it.

they don't know something is wrong.

they don't know to ask how you're doing.

(really ask how you're doing).

there's no sign that the pain is gone.

or you're better now.

or that you were hurt in the first place.

there's no bandage for your heart.

and i need to decide how i'm going to deal with this.

God, it's not over yet.  You can still fix this.

Please fix this.

at work they just thought i was tired today.

and i am.