a thought

listening to: Dub Trio - Not For Nothing

i read something that i've thought about periodically over the last few days. here's what it is.

if there is no God, and no existence after death, and therefore no kind of justice or judgment after death, then the people who "win" are the ones most people would consider bad or evil.

think about it. the people who are continuously self-indulgent, caring only for themselves and their own benifit/pleasure/satisfaction are the ones who've won at life. the murderers, the rapists, the thieves, the embezzlers, the liars. they did whatever they wanted, whatever pleased them, and they had their fun and then died. and they win even more so if they never got caught here on earth! it's those that live with recklessly, selfishly, and hedonistically that got their fill from this world before leaving it. the child molestor that was never caught, convicted or punished is the one who got his own way in life, and if there's no God, he took all he wanted at the expense of others, and with no consequence.

kinda burns doesn't it?
but that's if there is no God.

there is another way to live that is more satisfying, more fulfilling than living for yourself only. Jesus taught of loving others, and caring for your neighbor. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." -John 15:13 I'm sure you've felt this way about your friends or your family. It's something that's already in us, the knowledge and feeling of love and friendship. Living for your own enjoyment only will lead to feeling empty. For those that reject God and the way of living he's presented to us, they've chosen to live apart from God. that's what hell is, total separation from God, from hope. it's a choice, because free will was gift so that we might know real, unforced love.

i obviously must be thinking of you

listening to: Burnout: Paradise - Game Soundtrack.

sensei and i have been playing Burnout: Paradise since last night. and now as soon as we're up we're playing it again. fun game. while i've been here he's bought like... 3 games. we played soul caliber 4 for a while. then he got burnout, half recommended by me, then Disgaea 3, definitely recommended by me. and yesterday he got lego star wars. the ps3 is pretty dang sweet. and let me say, Star Wars: The Force Unleashed looks to be super epic when it comes out. i bought a DS game. The World Ends With You. i've known about it for a while and it looked real cool. i need to finish my current game fast, nick wants it back.

on to the title of current post.
i had a dream last night with a lot of friends in it.
mostly the His House crew. ones that come immediately to memory are Lauren, Brian, Katie, and the Lowells. we were eating at a restaurant (reminiscent of the coney, go figure) and there were a lot more people there but i can't remember who. hahaha i just remembered something funny. i got a phone call and looking at my phone, i knew it was from australia but i couldn't think of who could possibly be calling me with an australian number. then i remembered Jon Schlosser loves australia, so it must have been him, and it was. lulz. oh yeah! and i was trying to have Lauren help me figure out who it was in the voicemail so we were both listening to my phone at the same time.

and then i and some of my family went to a church to see somebody for some reason. turns out there was some gangster thug kid there, and a knife fight broke out inside the church. which somehow turned into a high speed chase. i think the high speed chase came from giannii playing burnout while i was still asleep this morning. heh.

so yeah. i miss friends back home. i miss my guitar a lot too. i had some cool tune going in my head and i wanted to learn how to play it before i forgot it, but alas, no guitar.

so far this week i think i've done a good amount of things. got some good work done on our game, still have some to go though. wandered for hours in chinatown, got some things for people back home. spent a lot of time walking places, which is fine by me. saw Hellboy 2: The Golden Army yesterday with sensei. pretty good. there were some punk thug kids sitting up at the back of the theatre being obnoxious for the whole movie, then they got up and left during the last 4th of the show. ? ? ? ok, whatever.

so yeah. i'm here for today and tomorrow, then i'm leaving very early sunday. that went pretty fast, but i feel like it's been real good. i've been thinking about wether i could live in the city or not. i know that i certainly wouldn't want to live alone, but if i had to i suppose i could. my immediate reaction to living in the big city is to say "do not want." but i really think it's something i could grow accustomed to. though brooklyn still has a piece of my heart, and i think the vimeo party has a good deal to do with that. yeah, i could totally live in a city someday. it would be much better with good company though.

so yeah. perhaps i'll be posting again before i depart SF, but we'll have to see. i arrive back home sunday afternoon, around 4 or so home time. can't wait to ride my bike and play my guitar and see the beautiful people back there. :)

madness

lisetning to: Burden of a Day - Hello My Name Is Euphoria


the alligator of your demise has arrived in a time machine.
his belly is empty, like a car's tank, currently running on only fumes of formally liquid gasoline.
you had escaped this sinister reptile before, but did not count on time travel being invented in the future, only to be brought into the past, to send this sizable salamander's simile back to the future.

now, this crocodile's cousin has concealed and camouflaged it's cruel carapace to compare to a copacetic commoner's complexion. such a creative creature! but careful, crisis is close.

once the jaws close you'll rarely escape alive.
the end

and today...

listening to: Archie Bell and the Drills - Tighten Up



The Fishstick - Jarrod from Giannii on Vimeo.

this is making me think

Hipster: The Dead End of Western Civilization

got this from Bill's blog.

i think i quite agree with most of what this article has to say. i've seen some of this kind of thing in a friend or two of mine. they've got no cause. nothing to fight for. it's all about the look and the act and conforming to a style you deny being a part of.

interesting. read it.

so far away

listening to: The Devil Wears Prada - Still Fly

honestly... i'm a little homesick.

mostly mostly i miss my friends from work/home and grand valley. but like, i miss my bike too haha. and i miss my guitar. i miss community with people. i don't know if i ever want to move away.

but then that thought begs to be reminded that if i don't move, that doesn't stop anybody else from moving. things change, whether you stay the same or not.

lately i've been getting the lonely/longing feeling. you know, like some people get when they wish for a significant other? i can't go doing that though. i feel like i'll just compromise and do things wrong if i start giving into that.

speaking of doing it wrong. i wish there were big "ur doin it wrong" signs hung up at points in my life, so i knew when i was going the wrong way. big obvious signs, maybe with a picture of a cat, and the cat tells me i'm doing it wrong. i'm not worried about doing the right thing, i'm worried about doing the wrong thing.

but yeah. someone is out there for me. maybe i already know them, maybe i don't. time will tell. i've got my own ideas, but who knows what will happen.

anyway. today i'm going to get a bunch of programming done. maybe some reading too. hopefully get out of the apartment again too. i really want chinese food. like, noodles. like, rice. that reminds me... need to go eat peanut butter cruch for breakfast!!

peace out yo.

made it

listening to: Justice - Phantom Pt 1

made it to California

the first half of my journey, i felt lonely. i wished that somebody would have been with me to talk to. but i got over it and felt much better later on.

flight to Denver went fine. dozed a bit. i was stuck sitting next to a guy that was a little larger than the seat was designed for, so i didn't have a whole lot of room. if only i wasn't so fat....

in the denver airport, a bunch of the employees at the mcdonalds were wearing Obama shirts. i guess that's a valid uniform? not all of them were wearing it. but there was this older facy looking austrailian guy there. i heard him talk. made me smile. heh.

denver to california was good. read a good deal. learned a good deal from reading. i like learning.

got to san fran. it took over an hour for my bag to come out onto the carousel because they put my bag on the flight after mine. good game.

but now i'm at sensei's place. we played a bunch of ps3 earlier. soul caliber 4 is cool. watched a movie. he's doing some work. i took a nap.

i'm getting real tired right now. i'm gonna call it a night i think.
it would be about 3am back home now anyway. i usually try to be in bed before then. usually. ;)

night.

leaving for california

right now.

yep.

bye. :)

and boy am i tired

listening to: Miyavi - Freedom Fighters

i'm exhausted. rode my bike approximately 30 miles today altogether.

chilled around the house, watched Employee of the Month finally. liked it.

rode my bike out to allendale to Lauren's place. Emily was there also, the three of us hung out for a bit. then we prayed.
it was good. like the kind of good God said the world was when He made it. it was good. great thanks to the both of them for doing that with me. friends, the real friends that will encourage you and help you and keep you accountable and even chastise you if necessary, are amazing.

rode my bike to jenison from there. i think bill drove past me on fillmore. stopped by the family house to talk to my mom. they were moving stuff out and bringing it to the new place. had a good short talk with my mom. told her i loved her, gave her a hug. it was good.

we will lose the house though. we have 6 months to sell it and if we don't sell it the house will just be taken from us. worst part is we can't keep cody (our dog). the apartment where my mom and siblings are moving doesn't allow pets, or at least dogs. my aunt offered to take him if we can't find a place. that makes me sad. it looks like my dad and arif will be staying in the house until we can sell it. if the house is vacant it will just be taken away from us.

best case scenario i can think of is if we sell the house in a couple months or so, and situations have progressed enough so that maybe the family can all live in one place. maybe? i don't know if that's possible with the legal stuff. but i just hope and pray that both my parent's are looking for God's will in this. if they both seek Him they'll find each other better. i have faith in this.

i am so tired. working at the other costco tomorrow. then i'll have to pack (last minute? yep).

and sunday i'm leaving.
and when i come back i'll have like one day and then school will start.
eh. that'll be ok i suppose.

sleep time. yeah. goodnight.

live music ftw

listening to: Duffy - Hard To Remember

good day yeah?
yeah.

woke up.
had to say bye to noellen and chelsea, they left today. it was good having them over for a few days. <3 them.
work went great. at the end of the day i had an interview for the major sales position. i want it a lot. the interview went really well. it's not up to the interviewer though if i get it, the warehouse manager gets the final say. pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease? :)

stopped by ihop after work, hung out with taylor and molly. stopped by parent's house, picked up laundry and helped my brother set up his (pointless) new phone. went home, had dinner.

went to kelley's where a bunch of people were hanging out, and there was cake. saw lauren and laura for the first time in a long time, that was nice. everybody else left to hopcat or elsewhere except lauren, laura and i. little baby lauren had a birthday but not the 21st kind yet so she couldn't get into the bar. the three of us hung out and it was fun. made plans for the 2010 winter olympic games in vancouver. canada, here we come! (in 2 years or so)

after the three of us dispersed, i came home and had a very strong urge to ride my bike because it was so nice out. so i hopped on my bike and decided to attend the bar/duffy show after all. i was glad i did. although i spent half the time glancing out the window at my unsecured bicycle, it was fun. bill tossed me a tambourine for the last song and i was shakin' it. i was happy about that :)

came home and here i am. no work tomorrow (nice) but i'm about to write something up for sensei(giannii). i've got one event planned tomorrow but no idea when it will occur. heh.

so yes. life is good. bike riding is grand. i'm leaving for california in like 2-3 days. cost.

oh, memory

listening to: Regina Spektor - Hotel Song

maybe you just looked at my "listening to" and did a double take.
i just saw a video a friend took of it live, and i'm a sucker for live music.
and i think her voice and singing style is cool
and i felt the need to justify myself for listening to it..... haha.

i wish i could remember everything i read.
i'm finding i can't clearly remember some stuff i read just an hour or so ago.
now i have to reread it.
because it's important.

today was a long day at work.
but most of work was fun.
came home, just felt tired.
went to play with my guitar and new speakers and IT DIDN'T WORK!
almost panicked. after some trying i figured out it was the instrument cable that was broked.
yep, was broked.
so i plugged a different cable in and made some music.

i can definitely tell a difference in sound when i play through my amp and when i play through the cab. i feel like the highs are toned down through the cab. it's got a smoother sound i think. but i also think it doesn't handle heavy, low distortion well.

i felt kinda down, actually. maybe because i was tired. but i'm feeling real good right now.
recorded this incredibly sloppy playing of something i made up 5 minutes or so before recording:


music in the dark from Jarrod Pyper on Vimeo.

Alex, i'm thoroughly enjoying reading The End of Reason. although that book includes the things i was just reading recently and can't remember as well as i'd like. after this one i move on to one pastor steve lent me, which should be good. then i'll read The Irresistible Revolution, which i've pushed back in favor of these two other books.

update

so this is what happened with court stuff.

not much.

basically, we waited around a long time while other people's names got called before us, and then when my dad's name did get called, it took like 5 minutes and then it was over.

all we did was accept the state's offer of pleading guilty to domestic violence and nothing is even decided. there's a sentencing sometime next month. for now we're just trying to get the restriction lifted on communication. my parents need so bad to be able to talk.

i think what the offer amounted to was something like 6 months probation and if nothing goes wrong the whole thing will get wiped off the record.

as for me?
i'm doing ok.
it's not really an easy time, but it's ok.
i've got plenty to be happy about and thankful for.

i'm working on moving a mountain.
one of my favorite quotes ever, from a girl i haven't seen in far too long
"if you have the faith of a mustard seed, but have no ketchup...."
katie wilson to ya.

thank friends for your care and concern.
and i really appreciate the continued prayers.
things will work out.

this is the real

i am crying.

not with despair.

with hope.

hope.

because that's what is true, what is real. what we're made for.

i'm drawn to despair. to comfort it, to heal, to love.

this is the fire burned in me. this is the desire within me.

God gave me my heart, my life. My passion is for Him. to be like Jesus.

And His message was filled with Love. and mine should be too.

I'm so imperfect. with Jesus I can be strong enough to love.

to love as i have been loved by my God. love, without an agenda. without conditions.

real Love. real Care. real Understanding.

this is what i scream on the inside. someday it will all come out.

well that was.... hard

listening to: La Dispute - Shall Never Lose Its Power

the hardest part about today was leaving a voicemail on my mothers phone explaining that she was wrong in thinking me talking to my dad had got me down today. it was me trying hard not to be angry with her, because i don't think she is going about everything the right way.

my mother. the woman who birthed me and helped raise me. i told her i thought she was doing it wrong. living part of her life wrong. i don't want to do that.

and i don't know what she thinks of that. she called back but i was working and she didn't leave a message. i didn't call her back. i.... i don't know what i'll be faced with when i do talk to her. she seems to get really offended and upset when the possibility is suggested that she is doing something wrong or has made a mistake.

i don't know.
my mom and siblings are moving out of the house and into an apartment on saturday. i don't like it. my dad has to be in court tuesday, i'll be there too for him.

and holy crap, i leave for california sunday.
that's good. but just... wow. awesome.

i need to go to sleep.
i've got 3 books to read right now. it'll be hard choosing which one to read first. we'll see. i'll let you know how they are.

i don't really get it

listening to: Thrice - Image of the Invisible

i don't think God is allowing me to stay unhappy for any sort of long period of time.
track with me.

these last couple months have been stressful as far as my family is concerned. there are times when i feel really upset about it, but it's not long at all before something comes into my life or something happens that makes me feel better, unable to be unhappy. this happened more than once yesterday.

by all means, yesterday was a fantastic day. it started with having lunch with reme for her birthday. that was fun. i drove her new car, which seems pretty nice. brought her back home and then left. my siblings never want me to leave the house once im there. on the drive downtown i was listening to Daedalus from the Wind cd and i was really thinking about father/sun relationships. when i think about things from my dad's perspective, it hurts, because i know he's hurting in all this and he's frustrated with how things have to be. i know he's really proud of me but i know it's hard to let me go and out of my own. and i think about how someday i might have a sun and i'll go through the same thing and it will be hard for me too. i get sentimental about family stuff, heh. so i was a mite bit t34ry over it but once i got downtown things were cool and i enjoyed hanging out with people.

once i got to work i was feeling a bit down again. after about an hour or so of work i looked at my phone and saw that Jo had called. i almost panicked because i couldn't call her back. she sent a text though, and she is still coming through for me on California, and I can't thank her enough for that. so it's pretty hard to stay unhappy or disappointed when you just found out you're going to california in a week or so. and the people i work with are so cool that just hanging out and talking to them makes me feel better.

but honestly, every time i get down there's something to bring me right back up. it's nice and all, but i almost feel guilty about it. at least as far as my family is concerned. here i am living away from them all and not dealing with the day to day of my parents living in separate places, and i'm happy and having some good times. but maybe i'm supposed to be happy. if not for me, for others. there's too much unhappiness in the world, too many broken people with too little hope. i should be happy as long as i don't keep it to myself. give a little love back, you know? if not me then who else? there are some things you just can't wait around for somebody else to do.

love people as God does. see them as a child of God. this is a better way to live with people. show someone love that's not based on a list of reasons. if nobody has noticed yet, love doesn't seem to be a resonable and logical thing. a love based on a list of reasons can fade, pass, because people and circumstances change. love simply because. because we were all created by and loved by God. that's more than enough reason for me to show you what real love is.

how fitting that this song just started playing on random

good covers all

listening to: Thrice - The Earth Isn't Humming

stressful day.
but it's closing and i feel alright.

the day started quite alright. i woke up at a reasonable time. attempted to do some programming. the attempt was giving me a headache, which i do not often get. i felt like my eyes hurt from starting at the computer, but it was so early.
anyway, left for work. left early though to stop by Taylor's house. she had a gift for me. and it was awesome.


i don't feel deserving of it, but i'm happy to have it. it's my favorite painting ever painted i'd have to say. thanks.

shortly after receiving this gift, i got some bad news. arif called me and told me i could come pick up the gamecube. this is strange, because i don't need it, and why would he call just to say that? then he told me that they (mom and kids) were moving. i think that's why he called.

so that was unpleasant.
i spent a lot of the day at work feeling angry with my mom and wondering what i would say to her. then i realized i was terrified of saying anything to her. then i didn't know what to say at all. she called while i was at work but i was working and couldn't answer. i called back after work and was relieved to get voicemail.

came home, played some guitar, made me feel better. my mom called and we talked for a while. things are ok. i don't really like it, but it's ok. i just feel helpless in the matter. which... i guess i am. there's really nothing i can do. praying is it. pray and trust things will work out, as they always do. we'll make it.

i'm dangerous around lighters. they make me want to burn things.
haha.

i just got reminded i have to do my work blog post.
i'm doing that then sleeping.
peace.

incredible potential

listening to: Thrice - Digital Sea

last night i did one of the most amazing things.
i spent almost an hour on the phone telling and explaining Old Testament stories. the other two hours mattered too.
never have i felt such a purpose to having grown up hearing these stories again and again since i was a kid. i don't even know if i can explain how excited i was to be able to share everything i did. it was so great.

listen you. you know who you are. i see and feel such an incredible potential for what your life can be. it will be your choice, but i know there's great things in store for you, and as a result you can become something incredible to the people you come across in your life. i'm certain of this. i'm almost afraid to be a part of this, it feels much bigger than me, out of my hands and beyond my comprehension. but i keep feeling more and more sure that things will end up right. end up good. end up new. all things will be made new.


today was a good day. spent it all out of the house. ihop, movies, marshall's, park, lowell's, home. basically. good to hang out with friends.

now i feel it would be good to get some sleep.

p.s. i have a list of things i'm praying about. if you'd like to be on it, let me know what i can pray about for you. anything at all. if you'd rather not comment and don't know how else to reach me, jarrod.roguemind@gmail.com

i'm here for you.

they must think of me when i'm not around....

listening to: Disney Songs: The Bear Necessities

at work recently some people have started telling me who i would look cute with, as a couple.

???

really? you've been thinking about this?

it goes something like this.
I'll be sitting in the break room, maybe around some coworkers. One of the older ladies (mom age) says, "you know who you would be cute with? what's that girls name on the front end, with the red hair? Abigail." and the other mom age ladies in the room do that "oohhhhh" (so cute! sound). and i tell them what i think, i'd maybe be interested if she didn't smoke. among other things. that won't happen. i tell them and they make the "oohhhhh" again but this time it's the understanding what a shame sound.

just yesterday i see two of the girls glancing at me and talking. i can tell they have something to say to me so i walked over. one says "you and courtney?" in a way that says they are suggesting the idea to me to see if i like it. i give them a puzzled look and tell them that we've hung out a couple times. they thought her and i would be cute together. and maybe they're right.

but just because i find some one attractive doesn't mean i think it's a good idea to pursue anything with them. kk?

work is funny.

hey friend

this is for you

Nature: 1, Jarrod: 0

listening to: Chronic Future - Time and Time Again

so today i got to do what i've been wanting to do for quite a while. ride my bike to work.

the trip there went well for the most part. i left a little later than i planned but i made it on time. i actually cut like 15 minutes off my previous time, the new bike really makes a difference. it was once i got to work that everything fell apart.

first realization: i forgot to bring a work shirt (collared).
first solution: i can go buy one. i bought one.

second realization: i don't have a nametag(which i need to clock in) because i keep them in my car.
second solution: i keep a spare in my locker. phew.

third realization: i'm bleeding. yes, there's blood. at one point by bike fell over while leaning against me and apparently that scratch i felt was actually 3 cuts on the ankle area of my foot.
third solution: band-aids in the office.

fourth realization: the shirt i bought is long sleeve. .....
fourth solution: roll up the sleeves.

so i got everything taken care of and work went on and was good. a bit before work is done, i realize something new.

fifth realization: there's a storm coming in. i rode my bike to work today.
fifth solution: there is no solution. i get poured on.

i leave work and i can see some lightning. i pedal fast. i get over halfway to the trail that i think will be shielded from some rain by trees, and the rain hits. kind of slow first, then pretty much pouring. i get to the trail that i think will provide some shelter, and i realize it does no such thing. i also realize that if i ride my bike home too late, the trail will be pitch black. no good. i pedal fast. just as i'm out of the woods and coming up on my street, the rain has slowed down considerably. once i'm at my doorstep, the rain has stopped.

good game nature. good game. i admit defeat on this one. jarrod doesn't think to check the weather before biking to work and jarrod gets owned. the ride in the rain was actually pretty fun.

i'm driving to work tomorrow.

honestly!

listening to: The Devil Wears Prada - Still Fly

honestly! i'm reading Rob Bell's Velvet Elvis, and there's something i don't understand.

why haven't i heard people talking about it more!?

i've been going through it pretty slow. maybe a chapter at a time then a few days inbetween before i'll find time to read some more. but by even the third chapter i felt like my mind had been blown up, and with my mind went a bunch of misconstrued ideas that i never knew i had. but seriously, this book has got me excited about the Bible and people and my Christianity in general. things are coming alive to me and i'm learning new truths and its just... incredible.

and i know other people have read it, but all i've heard from them is it's "really good" or something like that. i feel like i might not be able to shut up about it if i was asked how the book is.

if you've read the book, i'd love to get together with you and talk to you about it. if you havent' read it, i'd love for you to read it and then let me know you're reading it and we can get together and talk about it. honestly! i'm not finished with it yet, and wether i get to the end or not, i think it might be a long while before i'm ever "finished" with it.

i think that i'm going to do a lot better job with leading a sunday school class when the time comes around again.

mmm yeah, it's good to learn. i love this stuff.

got some free time?

i just beat this game my friend taylor showed me who was shown by her friend drew.
i was very very entertained.

http://comic.makibishi.co.jp/

the art style is really cool. the object of the game is to go to different areas and find the hiding little ninja guys. puzzles abound. very fun. i spent over an hour playing it until i beat it, but i could probably do it in about 10 minutes on another run through since now i know how to complete it all. on their high score rankings people have beat it under 7 minutes.

but really, it was fun. you should have some fun.
if you're really stuck, talk to me and i can give you a hint that can help the whole game go easier for you. you might already know it though.

you're brain might explode

i think mine did.




just.... no way.

warped

listening to: Dub Trio - Agonist

alex, i'm liking Dub Trio more and more. maybe next i'll come around to Porcupine Tree. heh, we'll see.

warped tour. so good. the drive down was pretty nice. (terror)tori was entertaining in the back seat because any time i made eye contact with her she would start laughing. never failed. the drive down to chicago went real quick and my car made it just fine. got there about 11 their time i think. took about 2 1/2 hours. not bad. hung out with rich and adam. john ate a poisoned porkchop sandwich. lulz. movie with women eating babies to look younger. piano player with fingers axed off. crazy twin girls the fire and an angry father. i don't even know.

woke up the next morning. girls brought over a ridiculous amount of breakfast food. awesome. left late for warped, i was a little grouchy because of that. all in one vehicle, a nice vehicle with a gps named Lola. rich didn't follow lola right, but we made it there. heh. didn't miss any bands i really cared about. bands i saw/enjoyed

Ever Time I Die: Good show. i probably danced hardest during this one, it was the first of the day for me. crowdsurfed once, good stuff. got hit by a crowdsurfer and my face smashed into a guy in front of me. felt like a bleeder but it was fine. until 10 minutes later when a single drop of blood fell out. then 5 minutes later another. it was weird.

Oreskaband: All girl Japanese ska band. need i say more? they were fun.

Protest the Hero: drunk canadian. funny. really good guitar. really good bass too, i had no idea. tap tap tapped it up. "there's enough love and sunshine going around here at warped tour, so this song is about tearing your friends apart"

All That Remains: um... not cool guys. oh well

Tat: Punk from London. doesn't get much better than a female guitarist/vocalist with an accent. she rocked out.

Anberlin: caught a few of their songs. they're pretty good live. i should listen to them more

The Devil Wears Prada: love them. they played their cover of Still Fly and it was amazing. danced it out. crowdsurfed, got dropped because while i was in the air another guy was tossed on top of me. my phone fell out of my pocket and i didn't notice until somebody next to me was holding up a phone. that was close. so intense.

i think that's about it. after the show we went and ate at culver's and then back to rich's/adam's to hang for a bit. got on the road pretty late. i made it back to my house around 4am. woke up at 7:45 to shower and go to church.

in short, it's nap time.

good times. peace.

if only

my mother would understand....

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

...this is hard.