but sometimes it's a good hurt

listening to: Incubus - Love Hurts

heard this on radio during the drive home tonight

"love hurts,
but sometimes it's a good hurt
and it feels like i'm alive.
love sings,
when it transcends the bad things
have a heart and try me
'cause without love i won't survive."

i need to grow up.
i just have this... thing. i've said it before.
i hope i grow to like this guy because otherwise i'll loathe him.
and for no good reason.
it's my worst jealousy, and oh i hate it, but it lives.

i feel like i never have time.
every time i'm home i feel like i should be doing homework.
and the time i have to do things like writing these words is time that i'm stealing from homework. i have to steal time away from homework. it's not planned, i just find ways to get distracted doing other things. i want to do other things; play guitar, watch a movie, play games. but that doesn't happen unless it just happens. like, i have to stumble upon doing something else, like walking into emo's room and seeing that some friends are watching a movie.

part of why i love soccer and playing music so much is because while i'm doing those things i don't think about what else i could/should be doing. i don't think about homework or obligations. nothing outside matters.

anyway, i'm just avoiding drawing again.
feeling kind of down. but there's plenty to be happy about.
just need to knock out this homework and go to bed.

night.