a couple thoughts

listening to: The Devil Wears Prada - Dogs Can Grow Beards All Over

no shave november is ending in approximately 10 minutes.

it will probably be done by the time i finish this.

note the title of the song i'm listening to.  appropriate.

today at work i was coming up with music to a song.

i made up some sweet stuff in my head and i really really hope i don't forget what it is.

in my mind it's sort of this cross between Anberlin, dredg and some Protest the Hero thrown in the.  the PtH aspect came from me thinking "this part sounds a little bit repetetive and stagnant, what would Protest the Hero do?"  haha.  i started a bit of lyrics too.  there is definitely screaming involved.  i'd like to see me actually carry this idea through to something instead of dropping it like i do too many others.

here's a thought.

the more lonley i feel, the more alone i get.

i do not feel either lonely or alone right now.  it's just a thought i had the other day.  when i'm lonely i think i tend to seclude myself.  i'm not saying i've done this recently or anything, but i think it's something that holds pretty true for me.  i get more introspective and such i think.  whatev dawg.

here's another thought.

i seldom win at solitaire.  it's just true.

and a last thought.

sometimes when i look in the mirror i see different versions of me.  lately i've seen a me that's pretty confident.  i'm happy with myself.  and i like having a beard :D   i see a me that feels alive.  occasionally i'll see somebody else.  but ever since i got my hair cut, i feel new.  i feel better.  there's nothing for me to hide behind, and i know i hid behind my hair plenty of times.  it's funny, a handful of people at work who didn't recognize me after the haircut said they only realized it was me when i smiled.  i liked hearing that.  i like smiling.  i like life.  yeah?  yeah.

i need to find something to get me pumped up for my soccer games.  something to make care less about getting hit, because i'd play a lot better if i could keep the thought in my head that i'm not made of glass.  any suggestions?  what gets you pumped?

i think metal would work pretty well if i could play it loud.  i can't broadcast my music in my car though, and i'm not about to turn the earbuds on my zune to 11 while they sit just outside my ear canal.  ya feel me?   maybe something like... chewing shrapnel or boxing a kangaroo.  yeah.

"chainsaw brutality, tornado strength"

that's all.  :)