hm... i had a pretty good idea of what i wanted to write about tonight, but i forgot what it was...
but that's ok, because i've had something else in mind to write for a while but i never got to writing it. here goes.
i've been playing soccer for a long time. like... 12 years or so maybe? i'd like to say since i was 7, but i don't remember exactly. but for almost all of my soccer career, i've played goalie. i love it, it suits me, i'm dece at it. i composed a sort of analysis of my personality by using my style as a goalie and an analogy.
so first of all, i am defensive. a goalie is the last line of defense. a goalie isn't running around out in the field "getting things done" but he is there when you need him to be. i am not a person who always aims to "get things done." i'm not one to go chasing things, but when you need me i am there dependably. a goalie knows when to come out and attack and when to stay home, similarly, i can get things accomplished when i know it's what i have to do, but i also know how to sit back and wait for things to unfold.
that describes a keeper in general, but me with my own faults and quirks makes things different at times. there are times when i'll come out from between the posts to challenge an attacking player, but when he goes to take the shot i'll flinch. this will typically result in something unfavorable, like them scoring. and i'll be super mad at myself for it. i do this in life, i'll step out of my usual "place" and make a move towards doing something, but i won't follow through. i'll flinch at the last second and miss the opportunity. it's funny though, in life and in soccer both i've found that when i stand my ground and take the hit as necessary, it doesn't hurt nearly as much as i was afraid it was going to.
when there's more feeling in it, more intensity, i'll do more, do better. it's almost only when i get angry in soccer that i'll start playing aggressively and really putting pressure on the other team when they try to shoot. it takes emotional investment for me to be more serious. same in life, if there's no passion in things i will typically just float along and take things slow, as they come. but when there's a fire in me about something, i'm willing to do more, try more, chase after what it is that i want.
reflexes. i depend on them tremendously. i've got good reflexes as a goalie. in indoor soccer reflexes are almost the only thing i have going for me, everything happens at a faster pace. all i can do is position myself in the right place and hope i'm fast enough to stop what comes my way. i use my "reflexes" in life a lot too. i'll set myself up in a position and then wait for things to happen, taking them as they come. i react to things more than i act on them. and it works out pretty good.
explained well? probably not. but it's for my brain's organization, probably not yours.
here's a video of a song that just came up on my random playlist. i looked up the words and liked them. and plus.... it's TDWP, they rawk. i remember what i was originally going to post about, i'll save it for another night. note to self: consequences and friends changing.
The Devil Wears Prada - Texas is South
Good evening, miss.
All I ever do is wish things were different.
This envy is destroying me,
and it is obvious.
I'm looking to put a bullet into the tile floor. Mark this.
I want to say something:
We were blessed, but now I wet my lips and wait for them to dry.
The lust of the dress.
The thought of her lips.
Reverent smile.
These letters I've wrote are shackled to my chest.
Her tantalization.
She is misconception.
Good evening, miss
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