fading lines

listening to: Portugal The Man - House (horse?) Warming Party

once i drew this picture of a flower.
it was a pretty good picture, i thought.
i don't remember why i drew it.
but it was pretty good.
and i'm looking at it,
and i miss the moon shining in,
the cowboy singing to the cat while leaning on the barn.
a hole in the sky, a tower standing in front of the sun.
i lied, it stood before the moon.

"i want to be able to express myself. that's what i want in my life. i want to make video games, write the stories for them or something. i'm not good at art, but i'm going to college for computer animation. this doesn't seem right. i would like to be a musician too. play in a band, write songs. i'm not a good singer though, so i probably couldn't sing my own songs. i need to find a way to do what i want. i'm sure that i'll have support in whatever i do."
-quoted from high school.

"the tears can't put out the fire in her eyes,
the fire can't dry the water"
-also high school

"A face refracted
reflecting pain
it's empathy
makes it the same"
-i always wanted to explain this poem to somebody. "a face refracted" :tears blur your vision, the light is refracted through the water, looking at a face, the image is distorted. "reflecting pain" :the face is showing the same pain back. "it's empathy" :the face understands. "makes it the same" :the face feels for the other and is there for it.

i forgot i wrote that haiku in this notebook. the times have passed.

my apologies. this has just been rugged undulations of the psyche.
"ambitious, musical, rugged undulations of the psyche."

i take back that apology, because i can.