not this trail

listening to: Boxcar Racer - Cat Like Thief

today, i think it was on the drive home this morning, i realized how much i've changed. maybe not changed exactly, but how i've been affected by... the past. sorry to sound cryptic, haha.
i had wondered what i would be like if anything started again, and now i think i have a pretty good idea.

but. but i am staying reserved. at first for them, but now i think for me. i don't want meaningless, and that might be what this is. we'll see i suppose. it's all so impractical anyway. time will go by.

so i need to finish getting cali trip plans all in order. need to get warped in chicago plans in order. need to.... sleep? yeah maybe.

i've always known i'd be easy to lead on. not that i know if i am being so done to, but i could be. but like i said, we'll see. i worry much more about leading somebody else on. does that make me seem more conceited or concerned about others? heh.

i feel myself growing sometimes, on the inside.. learning new things, relating to others. had a long talk with my dad today, it was good. i absolutely love my family.

i predict that a month from now, things will be quite different in many aspects of my life. when i get back from california. yeah.

yeah.