different

listening to: Drop Dead, Gorgeous - Swing (Savage cover)

this is not a Christmas song.

it's got language in it folks.

but i like when hardcore/screamo covers rap.

just listen or don't.

things are just different.  my family is not whole.  it bugs me.

despite this, it was a good Christmas.

wendesday i went to kalamazoo to be with my mom's side of the family.  hung out for a couple hours.  left to be back in time for church and took west, reme and arif with me.

went caroling with people from church.

had the Christmas Eve service.  i love the candlelight stuff.

spent the night at my moms.  i hate the family divided.

had a good talk with my mom, which is rare.  she is not herself.  she is just not herself.  and i don't like it, at all.

Christmas morning.  wake up, fall asleep, have a crazy dream with lots of friends in it and snow is coming through the roof because the tent that somebody put over the hole isn't working and i have to pile snow high enough to climb onto the roof and fix it but then i wake up.

breakfast was really good.

presents went well.  reme absolutely loved what i got her (socks...?) and selvije loved what i got my mom (wall-e).  arif told me what i should have got him (sheesh).  west was ecstatic because at first he thought i just burned him the thrice live cds but then i tossed Disgaea for DS at him and he made loud noises of happiness.  i like giving things that people like.

we watched wall-e.  i like that movie.

i got stuff.  i'm happy with it.  don't feel like listing it for some reason.

left there with everyone to go see my dad.

got gifts from him too.

we went to my aunt's for dinner.

dinner = GIANT pancakes that were awesome.  pancakes were the size of the large plates we ate them on.  sweet.

played with helicopters, hung around, just were together.

i almost fell asleep laying on the floor.

left there and i'm back home now.

i've said it plenty of times before, but i absolutely love having sisters.  things are rough but my youngest sister is always so happy.  she loves to sit by me and give me hugs and she's smiling so much.  she's really developed a snappy kind of wit that you just don't expect to come from her when it doesn't seem like she knows english that well.  always surprises me. and reme is great too.  my sisters make me feel loved.

it's the parent's job to love their children, and it's the children's tendency to act like they don't need it.

just something that occurred to my today as i was being offered help and i kept refusing it.

lately i've been thinking about how maybe it would be nicer not to be alone(ish).

whether i continue to think that or not is very uncertain.

going to go make some food (maybe) and do something for the rest of the night.

Merry Christmas.

i dislike cars getting stuck in the snow but i love seeing people help each other get out.

i wish it was easier to tell when people get stuck in life, and then maybe more often people would be helping others get unstuck.