Tuesday, December 2, 2008

i get it now

listening to: Thrice - Between the End and Where We Lie

in a small attempt at putting off homework for just a little bit longer i was going through old files, deleting some stuff that i don't need anymore, old homework and such.  i came across an email i had written and sent over a year ago now, i saved a copy of it (because i do things like that sometimes).

i dropped a bomb on that girl.

oh, i wrote it well.  everything i thought spilled out right into the words and i said what i meant and i made it clear.  i'm scarcely ever that direct.

i can see now why i'm dead to her.  rereading those lines and putting myself in her place... i'd be seriously messed up for a long while after all that happened afterward.  there is nothing i can do to change what i did.

i don't know if you still keep up on me, i'd keep up on you if i knew how.  i know what i did and i'm absolutely horrible for doing so.
maybe i've got it wrong and i have less to do with it than i think.  but i won't know.  i'm just sorry.
maybe someday i'll make a song about it and maybe you'll hear it and think of saying hi, just dropping a line.  maybe.

i am so sorry, twin.

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