you've been asleep for a long time" she said.
"i was waiting," i said,
"but, then i finally left that place.
i set it down, just like he said.
these are the things i left behind:"
i wrote this a couple weeks ago
These Arms Are Restless
Lyrics:
I should have never,
I never meant,
But I won’t take back a thing.
Rainy mornings
Softly snoring
Or a voice that’s meant to sing
No choked regrets
No moments wept
While thinking how we’re weak
Just memory
Of death, of free
Nights only arms asleep
These arms are restless now
Hanging at my side
No one to wrap around
No one to hate to say goodbye
These thoughts are broken,
Like broken wings,
But not beyond repair.
Fearless stories
Hearts outpouring
Press further if you dare
A breath grows tight
A fear to fight
Feels like a heart attack
Throw off these chains
You’ll be free again
I said it and I’ll never take it back
These arms are restless now
Hanging at my side
No one to wrap around
No one to hate to say goodbye
No one to keep your head up high
No one to hate to say goodbye
No one to hold no one to fight
No one to steal your breath of air
No one to laugh at when they stare
No one to say this is for life
These arms are restless now
Now that you’re not around
I’m flying on my own
I wish it felt like home
Again
--------------------------------------------------
i wrote this months ago. taken from a little instrumental i made last year.
Lyrics:
I know your head is full tonight
All of your thoughts trying to fight
You know with morning comes the day
That you take back the heart you gave
Close your eyes girl
What you need is just some rest
Close your eyes girl
May grace and peace be in your chest
Close your eyes girl
This bittersweetness will not last
Close your eyes girl
The night is fading all too fast
We shared our hearts and told our minds
We didn’t sleep to pass the time
A whispered warning:
“are you sure this is gonna be ok?”
A rainy morning
How could I help it if I loved you more each day
So close your eyes girl
And know that every word we said was true
Close your eyes girl
Even if we only thought but never knew
Close your eyes girl
Don’t forget just how I looked into your eyes
Close your eyes girl
Or how I held your face and never told you lies
We didn’t listen when they told us not to run
We wanted just to be each others only one
We didn’t know that it would all end up this way
I didn’t realize just how much I’d want to stay
The hardest part for me is having to let go
But these are things that I just wanted you to know
All I have to do is throw these thoughts away
To burn in a new fire for each day
So close your eyes girl
I’ve learned so many things from you
Close your eyes girl
And maybe I will close mine to
i had to confess,
"i have been lying
all this time. even to myself.
i was never all better. not for long at least.
i knew it was pointless,
i just wanted something to hold on to.
even if that something only hurt."
"it's ok" she said.
"you've been sleeping
but you're awake now.
you'll be just fine, i know it."
"i don't know who you are" i said.
she said
"you will someday."
The End
but more of A Beginning
----------------------------
20 was hands down the best year of my life, even if you only count the first half of it. i trusted more truly and openly than i ever have, and never once felt that trust was broken, or even scratched. it's honesty i'll never forget and i'm thankful for this, among many other things. i began to see what being a true, loving friend really is like, and i'm trying to be a better friend myself. there is so much love in that girl. i burned to be a part of it again for so long. i knew all along how meaningless it was, but it didn't stop. i'm overdramatic at times (that's why i think i could be good at this songwriting thing). i need to quit writing songs about this though. it's like i'm trying to make a scar out of a cut, just keep opening it again and again. i'm leaving it behind. i'm walking and i'm leaving it behind. everything tells me to and i know it's right. if what was seemed to me better than anything ever, than what is and will be can only be more amazing yet.
and i've been sleeping for at least the last 4 months.
but it's time to wake up and get going.
it's about time.
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