made of glass

listening to: Portugal The Man - Sugar Cinnamon

there's only one person i've ever known who can always tell when something is not quite right with me. when something is wrong. seeing right through me.

it is so hard to hide anything, especially yourself, from something like that. freaks me out.

this is not a relapse. there are no relapses. only observations now.

it's been years since i've ever seen myself in a picture at any house that doesn't belong to a relative. it's nice to know i'm on a friends wall somewhere, makes me happy. thanks, though you might not even realize it.

last night i stepped outside and caught a smell that was full of memories. it was the way the air felt, the way the season felt. last year was life changing, life directing. so much happened. if i had never gotten involved with His House, i don't know where i'd be as a person. and it's about this time that i really did start getting involved with the people there. i'm very thankful for that. i've missed the full blown His House sessions. it's good to be back.

if i could say one last thing to you before leaving it all at that, i think it would be "thanks for keeping me warm for the winter." warm like an incubating egg, closer now to hatching. it was a very cold winter. haha, i'm going to get all silly sounding if i keep going.

i keep forgetting how many times i see the words "space cadet." it keeps popping up in random places. the video game i was playing. the pinball game on my laptop last night. somebody called me it at work.

i conclude that i'm still just an awkward kid.

when sugar met cinnamon.