this one is for my brain

the wind blows and brings strange things with it
is my slipping sentiment a sign of
survival?
sedation?
sacrifice of safety?
superficiality?

am i ready? am i even close?
much learned, much unknown.

it's tangled still.
spun together, threaded in knots.
pulling can either release or retighten.

i'm more than chemical reactions
not subject to sensation alone

have i been fooling myself for years?
can i change what other people think?
or are my thoughts powerless
and meaningless?

slip slip slip
thoughts start to slide
is disinterest dangerous or desirable?

"and when we couldn't stop the bleeding
we held our hearts over the flame"

fire is what?

sometime i'll understand the feeling and not the words
that's the intent.

but every single time i lay down and pull the covers over me
i never fail to remember. every time i remember.
the green and blue
they both keep me warm again now
as it should be, should have been
but i still remember.

candlelit catastrophe
not so distant death
calls and cancels
silent, secret, sleepless

i have a thing for dark hair. among other things.

i am happy every day.